50 Ways To Invest Relationships You Really Care About
Learn how to do things for people you care about.
Start focusing on what really matters.
Develop your kindness muscles.
So… Yesterday, I cried.
I received some challenging feedback. And it reminded me of feedback I had received from my great allies. Multiple of them. Including Gary, illustrated above. He’s been my greatest inspiration.
Ever since I took the untrodden path of becoming the Party Scientist, he’s been driving me forward. He’s been there for me when I’ve fallen. He’s been a brother to me. I listen to his feedback.
The feedback runs along the following theme.
“You’re a robot.”
“You don’t care about other’s feelings.”
“You have psychopathic tendencies.”
“Do you even have empathy?”
For a long time, I complained about how sensitive people are. How easily they get hurt. How fragile they are. I blamed others for getting hurt, for misinterpreting me, for letting their minds dictate their feelings.
Then, I changed my approach. I took responsibility for their feelings.
What was I doing to hurt people? I asked myself. Well, I was not anticipating the impact of my actions on their feelings or thoughts. I was being unthoughtful. I was being impersonal. I was not making compromises.
Compromises are a natural feature of intimate relationships.
I believe the simple thought — How will this be received? can prevent 90 % of he pain in most relationships.
Today, I’m different. And this article is a proclamation for how I’d like to treat my most valued relationships differently.
The following list contains behaviors I am adopting to treat my family, best friends, and loved ones better. These behaviors align with my definition of ‘the good life’ defined in my manifesto.
The authenticity and vibrancy of our personal relationships is the strongest indicator for a good life.
This is me taking a step forward in living up to my values and in becoming a kinder, softer human. My values are illustrated below.
50 Behaviors For Caring More
- Don’t ditch them.
- Cook for them.
- Don’t make fun of them.
- Spend time with them.
- Spend undistracted time with them.
- Be affectionate with them. Even if they don’t ask.
- Make sacrifices for them.
- Do things they enjoy with them.
- Shine light on their virtues.
- Accept them even if they don’t change.
- Give them a ride.
- Pick them up at the airport.
- Tell them you need some time alone.
- Work through conflict even when you don’t feel like it.
- Pick up their trash.
- Reassure them that you’re not going to leave them.
- Adapt to their quirks.
- Change how you communicate for them.
- Anticipate their feelings.
- Respect their privacy and boundaries.
- Send them reminders that you care about them.
- Go to the hospital with them.
- Pick up the phone.
- Let them rant to you.
- Take care of them when they are sick.
- Be taught by them.
- Accept the worst version of them.
- Forgive them.
- Share a meal with them.
- Stay off your phone.
- Dance to their favorite song together.
- Invite them to your happenings.
- Introduce them to good people.
- Remember their gifts when things get tough.
- Immerse them in new experiences.
- See them the way they aspire to see themselves.
- Positive gossip about them.
- Give them a neck massage.
- Show up on time for them.
- Create experiences for them (my greatest love language).
What about the last ten? They will be added by my readers. Comment ideas below and I’ll add them here!
Make more sacrifices for the people you care about. It’s not really a sacrifice. It will lead to fulfillment and joy.
Could you do me a 10 second favor before you leave? If you’re feeling thankful, could you like or comment this article? What wisdom do you have to share with other readers? We’d love to hear your additions.
If you liked this article, you’ll like my blog about relational intelligence and health. Sign up to get access to my best free resources on the science of human connection.
ps — I help innovative conference, event, & party planners unite and exhilarate their audience by applying the science of human connection. Do you know any who’d want to consult the professional party crasher?
Thanks for spreading healthier human connections 🧠
— Jacques The Party Scientist, BSc. Pharmacology